Monday, November 22, 2010

Dear cancer...

As I approach Thanksgiving, I have many things for which I am eternally grateful.  I also feel conflicted in my heart and spirit because of the anger I feel towards my mother's cancer.  I am angry, bitter, and full of rage at the disease that puts my mother in a state of "dis-ease."  I am purging my feelings here in order to move forward with a spirit of eternal gratitude, because I am most grateful that she is still here with me.

Dear cancer,
I refuse to capitalize your name simply because you do not deserve a title of importance.  I teach my students that everything important gets capitalized and you are not important.  You may be powerful, but you are certainly not important.  I am writing this letter to you to express my heart-felt bitterness I have towards you.  It is my prayer that you will find no place to reside in my mother's body and that you will flee immediately.

I know that you didn't realize whose body you had invaded, you were on a blind attack.  If you knew then that you were attacking a woman who has done and continues to try to do more for everyone before herself, then you probably never would have even noticed her.  She has done more for friends, family, students, and humanity than anyone I know.  She is not your average woman, but by now you have figured that much out.  She's not a quitter and she's not weak, she is a fighter!  Do you see that your struggle with her is becoming more difficult?  Do you sense the chemotherapy destroying you faster than you could destroy her?  Then, by all means, feel free to evacuate, but please don't leave any traces of yourself behind.

There are a few things that I am sure most people don't ever say to you, but I would like to say them now.  cancer, you have helped my mother eliminate some of her bad habits and you have made her open herself more to the blessings and powers of God.  For that, I thank you.  But she could have done those things without you, so go ahead and see yourself out.

An important person writing on behalf of an even more important MOTHER!

Gratitude List:
1.  Health and healing in body, soul, and mind
2.  Doctors who know what's best and are selfless givers
3.  Family support
4.  Unexpected blessings from unexpected people
5.  Being able to rely on God for all things and trust in Him to make them happen