Silent Dialogue

Stacey Joy

In the beginning,

Almost anything can happen.

This is when you first hear the news

When light becomes dark

Days blend into nights

And whispers are noisy

Like everyone knows the secret

Except you

You have the “C” word

The word that’s harder to say when it’s personal

You have cancer

This is the very beginning.

The doctor is not yet someone you admire or trust

more the bearer of news you’d rather never hear

White and powder blue lab coats don’t know your name

Your face is not yet recognizable

This is the opening scene, Act 1

Cancer creeps on stage

Cloaked in mystery

Suspicion

Doubt

Anguish

Your solo is now a duet.

Act 2, the middle

Everything normal fades

Medications and doctor’s appointments

Scans, needles, questions

Probing and searching

The second scene, Act 2, takes place in the sky

The first-time skydiver’s descent

Praying through the fall

Not to hit the bottom

Before deploying the automatic activation device

Backsliding through MRI’s, PET Scans, and ultrasounds,

Crabbing from hospital to home

The parachute opens

as your duet falls freely to the ground

Only to realize you will jump

Fall

Jump

Fall

Many more times through Acts 2 and 3

But you always rise again in Act 2

Until the duet

Becomes more complicated

Cancer’s silent dialogue

Competes with your spoken monologue

The fall begins to feel more like the end

Intermission awaiting remission

But Act 3 opens

You and cancer take center stage

                Who has more lines

                Who has more pain

                Who has more strength

                Who has more life to live

                Who can change the blocking for this scene

You need a wardrobe change

Gowns grace everyday fashions

Hair and Make-up artists can’t fix

Bald

Sensitive

Broken skin

skin with remnants of vitality

Water, cancer water, fills you

Cotton pricks your skin

that burns fragile, transparent, bruised

Act 3, The Grand Finale

This is the last straw

The last row

The last one chosen

But this time you didn’t want the part

The lab coats, needles, and scans

The last round of chemo

The last chance for poison to protect

The last prayer to SAVE a solo

The last stench of the putrid bile

The last “morphinic” stare

The last cry

The last blink

The last kiss

The last hug

The last breath.

No Curtain Call

Everyone leaves

Cancer now a solo act 

Without an audience.

The Cancer Battle

Me, Mom, and Sis

Sadly, another loved one has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  My dear friend's big sister found out that she has Stage 2 breast cancer.  I remember many years ago, when we heard someone had cancer, it was shocking and we would fear the worst.  Now, I add another name to the "People With Cancer" list, begin my prayers for that person and the family, and trust God to do what He does best...take care of His children.

What do we need to do to win the battle?  How many more names will be added to the list before we have truly won the fight?  I am thankful that I don't have to fear the worst anymore, but I would much rather go back to that feeling of shock, knowing that cancer just doesn't happen to us, and if it does then there is nothing to worry about.

Dr. Keith Black, one of the top neurosurgeons in the world, operated on my mother over 10 years ago to remove a benign brain tumor.  I wonder now, as ovarian cancer is fighting to control her body, why isn't there a Dr. Black kind of cure?   He said that he creeps up on the brain like a thief in the night to avoid disrupting normal brain function.  Why is there no thief in the night to creep into the body and destroy the cancer cells?  Why is cancer such a cancer, so ravenous and unpredictable?

Please continue to pray and fight for our loved ones who are courageous with cancer.  The battle is not theirs, it's the Lord's!

Related articles by Zemanta

• 10 Life-Saving Breast Cancer Facts (lifescript.com)

My mom has been fighting cancer for over a year.  The poem, "Gloria's First Chemo Treatment," was written while sitting in the Cedars infusion unit for the very first time with her.  It's very eye-opening and heart-humbling to experience the infusion unit.  If you are ever unsure of your peace, take a moment to visit.

Gloria's First Chemo Treatment

The first was the worst

I didn’t think I would make it through

My whole being burned a flame bathed in sickening blue

The pain was bigger than an ocean wide

Nothing was making me feel better inside.

The coming of dawn brought a new day

Feeling God’s presence in a welcoming way

I gave thanks for the breath of fresh morning air

And looked in the mirror to see I had lost my hair.

God, what is next, I asked in sorrow.

Quietly He said, “You will live to see tomorrow.”

Thank you, I whispered in complete gratitude

Now let me put on my new attitude!

The pain will come and it will go

Wigs will disguise the shame I won’t show

My appetite will change as the sun rises and sets

But knowing I am still alive is as good as it gets!

Heroines With Cancer

My mother has stage 4 ovarian cancer, meaning that it has spread to other organs.  But cancer is also spreading amongst my mother's circle of girlfriends and loved ones.  My mother's good friends, Lois, Jane, and Bernice have breast cancer.  My mother's long-time friend, Alora, has lung cancer that has spread.  My mother's friend and former co-worker, Evelyn, has skin cancer.  Of her dear friends, Gwen is the only one who has passed away from cancer that invaded her intestines.  What I wonder is why is cancer spreading through this circle of friends so viciously?  But what I am most proud to reflect on is how heroic each of these women are as they battle cancer for each other!

Related articles by Zemanta

• Is It Bloating or Ovarian Cancer? (lifescript.com)