Hustle and bustle, shopping and spending, running around and stressing in crowds. Not my plan at all. This holiday season will be the first in my life without my parents to celebrate with me. I decided a few months ago that I would focus on blessings, memories, and not get caught up in Holiday Smoliday.
What is Holiday Smoliday? To me, it's when everyone else's plans, wants, and needs become priority. My priority has to be the wellness of my mind and spirit. My priority has to be the happiness of my own family. My priority has to be appreciating what I already have. I am expecting nothing other than peace this holiday season.
I pray that Holiday Smoliday doesn't come my way. I just want to rejoice in all that God has given me. I don't need Thanksgiving or turkeys, dressing, pies, or icky mashed potatoes to feel that kind of joy! That joy lives inside of me, and for that I am eternally thankful!
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reflections. Show all posts
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Monday, August 22, 2011
Lake Tahoe Time
I am in Lake Tahoe with my sister and husband. It is absolutely beautiful! Unfortunately, we are here because of my father's sickness and ultimately his passing. A few months ago, he offered his week-long vacation (fully paid) to us because he realized he would be too sick to travel, especially if he were still undergoing chemotherapy. We really appreciated the offer and obviously accepted it without much thought. We have only been here 2 full days and already I am wondering how I can make the most of the remaining 5 days.
Why is it that when I am given an opportunity to relax, refresh, rejuvenate, my mind spins on things that will destroy this relaxation and rejuvenation? School resumes in less than 3 weeks, and my thoughts continue to drift to what I should be doing to be better prepared for the opening of the school year. This is insane and ridiculous. Do I need therapy? Do I need someone to tell me "give it a break and just relax!" What do I need? Maybe I need someone to say, "Hey, I do that too!" Misery loves company, but I don't want to be miserable!
I look out at the picturesque and breathtaking views from this perfect resort, and I see possibilities, strange curiosities, and really ridiculous insanities. It's possible that people really do have fun on vacations even when they have full knowledge that in a matter of days their bliss will come tumbling down and they will be back to the daily grind of work. It's possible that some people go on vacations once in their lifetimes and therefore what I see them doing is appreciating the blessing. It's possible that a few people, like me, appreciate the time away but don't know what to do when their minds won't just stop spinning new thoughts.
I am curious to know why there are so few opportunities like these that have come to me. Why is it that I had never been here before and wonder if I will ever have the chance to visit again, possibly in the winter, to witness what so many other people around the world have witnessed. Snow-capped forests and mountains are seen from the freeway by my house, but very rarely are they seen up close.
I am driving myself insane with wondering what, why, how, when, who, and where. I don't really want to think about any of it anymore. I just want to enjoy this blessing and see the people, places, and experiences as once-in-a-lifetime moments that I get to re-live for 7 days.
I have a few minutes left before I need to figure out dinner. I decided that I won't think about that...I will take a nap instead!
Why is it that when I am given an opportunity to relax, refresh, rejuvenate, my mind spins on things that will destroy this relaxation and rejuvenation? School resumes in less than 3 weeks, and my thoughts continue to drift to what I should be doing to be better prepared for the opening of the school year. This is insane and ridiculous. Do I need therapy? Do I need someone to tell me "give it a break and just relax!" What do I need? Maybe I need someone to say, "Hey, I do that too!" Misery loves company, but I don't want to be miserable!
I look out at the picturesque and breathtaking views from this perfect resort, and I see possibilities, strange curiosities, and really ridiculous insanities. It's possible that people really do have fun on vacations even when they have full knowledge that in a matter of days their bliss will come tumbling down and they will be back to the daily grind of work. It's possible that some people go on vacations once in their lifetimes and therefore what I see them doing is appreciating the blessing. It's possible that a few people, like me, appreciate the time away but don't know what to do when their minds won't just stop spinning new thoughts.
I am curious to know why there are so few opportunities like these that have come to me. Why is it that I had never been here before and wonder if I will ever have the chance to visit again, possibly in the winter, to witness what so many other people around the world have witnessed. Snow-capped forests and mountains are seen from the freeway by my house, but very rarely are they seen up close.
I am driving myself insane with wondering what, why, how, when, who, and where. I don't really want to think about any of it anymore. I just want to enjoy this blessing and see the people, places, and experiences as once-in-a-lifetime moments that I get to re-live for 7 days.
I have a few minutes left before I need to figure out dinner. I decided that I won't think about that...I will take a nap instead!
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Nanny Day
Some days feel like Nanny Days. When my mother was still alive, every day was a Nanny Day. I would talk to her several times a day. She would ask me a thousand questions within the first few minutes of our conversations. She always wanted to know all the details about everything that mattered to me. I could really use a Nanny Day.
Some days feel like Nanny Days especially when one of us hurts. If Nanny were here, she would take the hurt away. One thing she would never stand for is someone she loved feeling down, sad, or hurt. She made it her personal goal to keep a smile in everyone's hearts. My daughter got her 4 wisdom teeth pulled this morning. She awakened from the anesthesia very emotional, and she said, "This should be a Nanny Day." Of course, her Nanny would have been right there to make her feel all better.
Some days feel like Nanny Days. I am recovering from the flu. Kids who come to school sick usually share their sick germs with their teachers and classmates. That's why as a parent, the most thoughtful thing we can do for our children and their teachers is to keep them home when they're sick. So I began my much needed Spring Break in bed with chills, fever, cough, and body aches. Nanny would have called several times a day to check on me, offering to bring me whatever I need, but she had to care for me from her special spot in Heaven. I feel better today, but I still feel like I need a Nanny Day!
Some days feel like Nanny Days especially when one of us hurts. If Nanny were here, she would take the hurt away. One thing she would never stand for is someone she loved feeling down, sad, or hurt. She made it her personal goal to keep a smile in everyone's hearts. My daughter got her 4 wisdom teeth pulled this morning. She awakened from the anesthesia very emotional, and she said, "This should be a Nanny Day." Of course, her Nanny would have been right there to make her feel all better.
Some days feel like Nanny Days. I am recovering from the flu. Kids who come to school sick usually share their sick germs with their teachers and classmates. That's why as a parent, the most thoughtful thing we can do for our children and their teachers is to keep them home when they're sick. So I began my much needed Spring Break in bed with chills, fever, cough, and body aches. Nanny would have called several times a day to check on me, offering to bring me whatever I need, but she had to care for me from her special spot in Heaven. I feel better today, but I still feel like I need a Nanny Day!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
4th Graders Disguised as Adults
Unfortunately, our legal system does not excuse teachers from serving Jury Duty. I decided to respond to the latest threatening summons, hoping that I would be excused by the end of the day without having to serve on an actual jury.
As I sit here waiting for my turn, I realize that the Jurors Waiting Room is full of 4th graders disguised as adults! The gentleman doing orientation did an outstanding job of telling everyone what to do and what NOT to do, and he even infused a bit of humor. Of course, he made it very clear that if anyone approached him in his office at the wrong time, he would kindly tell them to go away! He specifically told us NOT to use cell phones in this room, but we could talk in the hallways.
Now, I am listening to a lady and a man both talking loudly on their cell phones. There's another man snoring non-stop on a bench. A few people are standing at the man's office door as if he will eventually let them in, and I'm wondering if anyone listens and follows directions anymore! It's very sad that I have to be away from my students who really want to learn, and I'm forced to sit here and spend the entire day with 4th graders disguised as adults.
I really pray that I am not selected to serve on a jury because I plan to tell them that unless the person being charged is in 4th grade, then they are automatically GUILTY in my mind!! Folks need to learn to listen and follow directions!
Finally, why were we given an hour and 40 minutes for lunch? I am not in a familiar area so I definitely would not venture too far and risk missing my return time. I wouldn't dare eat in the courthouse cafeteria, and risk having my stomach turn inside out in the middle of jury selection. Thus, the 100 minutes were given so that I would have time to reflect on what my role is in this experience. As I approach the 7th hour waiting and listening to low rumbling voices in other languages, loud chatter from the man on his cell asking why his car was towed, and the lady breathing heavily through her mouth but happens to be WIDE AWAKE, I realize that my role is to be thankful that I am not the one who needs any of these people (including myself) on a jury to decide my fate!
As I sit here waiting for my turn, I realize that the Jurors Waiting Room is full of 4th graders disguised as adults! The gentleman doing orientation did an outstanding job of telling everyone what to do and what NOT to do, and he even infused a bit of humor. Of course, he made it very clear that if anyone approached him in his office at the wrong time, he would kindly tell them to go away! He specifically told us NOT to use cell phones in this room, but we could talk in the hallways.
Now, I am listening to a lady and a man both talking loudly on their cell phones. There's another man snoring non-stop on a bench. A few people are standing at the man's office door as if he will eventually let them in, and I'm wondering if anyone listens and follows directions anymore! It's very sad that I have to be away from my students who really want to learn, and I'm forced to sit here and spend the entire day with 4th graders disguised as adults.
I really pray that I am not selected to serve on a jury because I plan to tell them that unless the person being charged is in 4th grade, then they are automatically GUILTY in my mind!! Folks need to learn to listen and follow directions!
Finally, why were we given an hour and 40 minutes for lunch? I am not in a familiar area so I definitely would not venture too far and risk missing my return time. I wouldn't dare eat in the courthouse cafeteria, and risk having my stomach turn inside out in the middle of jury selection. Thus, the 100 minutes were given so that I would have time to reflect on what my role is in this experience. As I approach the 7th hour waiting and listening to low rumbling voices in other languages, loud chatter from the man on his cell asking why his car was towed, and the lady breathing heavily through her mouth but happens to be WIDE AWAKE, I realize that my role is to be thankful that I am not the one who needs any of these people (including myself) on a jury to decide my fate!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Entitled Children of Today
I have had a summer to reflect on the effects my husband's and my parenting have had on my 19 yr. old daughter. She has been home from college since May. We were pleasantly surprised to find out that she had earned a 4.0 for the second semester, distinguishing herself as an Academic Scholar worthy of a special certificate from the university. Recently she was offered a small scholarship from her Armenian professor in recognition of her achievements.
I didn't accidentally or carelessly use the word "surprised" when saying we were pleasantly surprised. She was a good student all of her prior school years. However, upon entering Fresno State as a freshman, moving away from home and into a shoe-box size dorm to share with a girl who snored loudly every night, having had no idea that skating to class in 100 degree heat would be an issue, and that the food in dorms would be disgusting...she managed to study, do homework, pass exams with A's, and successfully manage to lose weight instead of gaining the traditional 15lbs! I failed to mention that the second language course she selected was ARMENIAN! She aced Armenian speaking and the writing...go figure! None of this success was the result of us pushing her or reminding her of the seriousness of her doing well considering the deep financial crunch college was putting us in. We let go and let God.
Now, it is summer, and this scholarly daughter of mine has been home, unemployed, and glued to the television and/or novels since May. She sought employment the way that teens do nowadays...through Craig's List and on other sites that allow them to submit applications online. Hmmm, when employers never meet you how do they determine your value to the company? But this is not to be debated with a 19 yr old. She had ONE successful interview, leaving with a feeling of accomplishment and possibilities, and then never got the job. Hmmm, maybe perseverance and persistence would have helped, but a 19 yr old is "not going to keep calling!" OKAY so no money, no plans, nothing but CHEAP fun this summer, fighting villains through PS-3 and reading courtroom drama novels by Sandra Brown! Will she be able to return to campus in a few weeks with any semblance of scholarly motivations or intentions? This has nothing to do with how we've parented her. We say now she is on her own path and we have laid the foundation appropriately. I HOPE!
We, teachers, often see the results of parents "entitling" their lovely children to more than they need and sometimes more than they deserve. The result is the lack of motivation to work hard for the sake of accomplishment, but rather they work lazily and EXPECT rewards and success! When a student doesn't get constant tangible rewards but is taught the value of education, he/she has a profoundly more positive demeanor in the classroom and much greater respect for teachers and for learning. So what I wonder is...since my daughter did not get any tangible rewards from her hard work, was only offered one scholarship which wouldn't even cover 1/3 of a semester's tuition, and she basically starved at home all summer, will she value her education and realize this was her one and only summer to be "entitled" to be the princess of the house.
In closing, I will reminisce on this summer in a few months and deeply miss the former princess as I return to my reign as QUEEN!
I didn't accidentally or carelessly use the word "surprised" when saying we were pleasantly surprised. She was a good student all of her prior school years. However, upon entering Fresno State as a freshman, moving away from home and into a shoe-box size dorm to share with a girl who snored loudly every night, having had no idea that skating to class in 100 degree heat would be an issue, and that the food in dorms would be disgusting...she managed to study, do homework, pass exams with A's, and successfully manage to lose weight instead of gaining the traditional 15lbs! I failed to mention that the second language course she selected was ARMENIAN! She aced Armenian speaking and the writing...go figure! None of this success was the result of us pushing her or reminding her of the seriousness of her doing well considering the deep financial crunch college was putting us in. We let go and let God.
Now, it is summer, and this scholarly daughter of mine has been home, unemployed, and glued to the television and/or novels since May. She sought employment the way that teens do nowadays...through Craig's List and on other sites that allow them to submit applications online. Hmmm, when employers never meet you how do they determine your value to the company? But this is not to be debated with a 19 yr old. She had ONE successful interview, leaving with a feeling of accomplishment and possibilities, and then never got the job. Hmmm, maybe perseverance and persistence would have helped, but a 19 yr old is "not going to keep calling!" OKAY so no money, no plans, nothing but CHEAP fun this summer, fighting villains through PS-3 and reading courtroom drama novels by Sandra Brown! Will she be able to return to campus in a few weeks with any semblance of scholarly motivations or intentions? This has nothing to do with how we've parented her. We say now she is on her own path and we have laid the foundation appropriately. I HOPE!
We, teachers, often see the results of parents "entitling" their lovely children to more than they need and sometimes more than they deserve. The result is the lack of motivation to work hard for the sake of accomplishment, but rather they work lazily and EXPECT rewards and success! When a student doesn't get constant tangible rewards but is taught the value of education, he/she has a profoundly more positive demeanor in the classroom and much greater respect for teachers and for learning. So what I wonder is...since my daughter did not get any tangible rewards from her hard work, was only offered one scholarship which wouldn't even cover 1/3 of a semester's tuition, and she basically starved at home all summer, will she value her education and realize this was her one and only summer to be "entitled" to be the princess of the house.
In closing, I will reminisce on this summer in a few months and deeply miss the former princess as I return to my reign as QUEEN!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Things That Make My Blood Boil (new items added)
Maybe it's just me and my lack of patience, but there are some things that really make my blood boil!
1. When a non-black person joins the internet dating service, "Black People Meet" and expects other blacks to want to meet him/her. It's just dumb. That's what EHarmony is for!
2. Someone talking on their cell really loud in line anywhere where it's inappropriate. And when I turn and look at them, I can't even get eye contact because they're so caught up in their conversation.
3. When someone says I'm expecting too much of someone else. Hell, everyone expects too much from me and I strive to do it all so why can't they do the same? LOL...I'm just sayin
4. When someone's blinker is blinking for 5 minutes and they never turn. When they finally turn, it's the opposite direction!
5. When a parking meter only takes QUARTERS. Money is money! And don't most people NOT have quarters?
6. When a bill collector asks me if I can get a payroll advance from my job in order to make a payment on time. Duuuhhhh, when your job has furloughs, they don't have money to give IN ADVANCE!!!!!!!!!!!
7. When I come home from the grocery store, finish making pancakes, and realize there is no SYRUP! Who didn't remind me before I went to the store?
To be continued...
8. When I hold the door for someone going inside a building and they don't acknowledge that I could've let it slam in their damn face!
9. When I'm in the grocery store looking for something on the shelf, with only a little space between me and the shelf, and someone walks in front of me and gets an item off the shelf!!!
1. When a non-black person joins the internet dating service, "Black People Meet" and expects other blacks to want to meet him/her. It's just dumb. That's what EHarmony is for!
2. Someone talking on their cell really loud in line anywhere where it's inappropriate. And when I turn and look at them, I can't even get eye contact because they're so caught up in their conversation.
3. When someone says I'm expecting too much of someone else. Hell, everyone expects too much from me and I strive to do it all so why can't they do the same? LOL...I'm just sayin
4. When someone's blinker is blinking for 5 minutes and they never turn. When they finally turn, it's the opposite direction!
5. When a parking meter only takes QUARTERS. Money is money! And don't most people NOT have quarters?
6. When a bill collector asks me if I can get a payroll advance from my job in order to make a payment on time. Duuuhhhh, when your job has furloughs, they don't have money to give IN ADVANCE!!!!!!!!!!!
7. When I come home from the grocery store, finish making pancakes, and realize there is no SYRUP! Who didn't remind me before I went to the store?
To be continued...
8. When I hold the door for someone going inside a building and they don't acknowledge that I could've let it slam in their damn face!
9. When I'm in the grocery store looking for something on the shelf, with only a little space between me and the shelf, and someone walks in front of me and gets an item off the shelf!!!
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