Unfortunately, our legal system does not excuse teachers from serving Jury Duty. I decided to respond to the latest threatening summons, hoping that I would be excused by the end of the day without having to serve on an actual jury.
As I sit here waiting for my turn, I realize that the Jurors Waiting Room is full of 4th graders disguised as adults! The gentleman doing orientation did an outstanding job of telling everyone what to do and what NOT to do, and he even infused a bit of humor. Of course, he made it very clear that if anyone approached him in his office at the wrong time, he would kindly tell them to go away! He specifically told us NOT to use cell phones in this room, but we could talk in the hallways.
Now, I am listening to a lady and a man both talking loudly on their cell phones. There's another man snoring non-stop on a bench. A few people are standing at the man's office door as if he will eventually let them in, and I'm wondering if anyone listens and follows directions anymore! It's very sad that I have to be away from my students who really want to learn, and I'm forced to sit here and spend the entire day with 4th graders disguised as adults.
I really pray that I am not selected to serve on a jury because I plan to tell them that unless the person being charged is in 4th grade, then they are automatically GUILTY in my mind!! Folks need to learn to listen and follow directions!
Finally, why were we given an hour and 40 minutes for lunch? I am not in a familiar area so I definitely would not venture too far and risk missing my return time. I wouldn't dare eat in the courthouse cafeteria, and risk having my stomach turn inside out in the middle of jury selection. Thus, the 100 minutes were given so that I would have time to reflect on what my role is in this experience. As I approach the 7th hour waiting and listening to low rumbling voices in other languages, loud chatter from the man on his cell asking why his car was towed, and the lady breathing heavily through her mouth but happens to be WIDE AWAKE, I realize that my role is to be thankful that I am not the one who needs any of these people (including myself) on a jury to decide my fate!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Do You See What I See?
This was our first week back to school. I was eager and excited, as always, to see and meet my new students. I sensed the anticipation of a new and rewarding school year in the air as my students walked into their new classroom. They were smiling, nervous, and showing signs of relief, as they learned that I would add unexpected humor and fun to diminish their stress throughout the day.
As the first and second days of school concluded, I had that conversation in my head that I have every single year: "Do you see what I see?" As a parent of a son and a daughter, I have kept my eyes open to signs of struggle, signs of success, and any signs that may have indicated that either of them needed more than just a nudge to get through school. They have both completed high school and are continuing their educations in college. Struggling from time to time, but nonetheless, they have pushed through obstacles and asked for support when needed. As a teacher for 25 years in elementary education, I keep my eyes open the same way for my students, but I have to ask every year, "Do you see what I see?"
Parents are special, as are their children. Many times, I have had parents who tell me that their child is not the same at school as they are at home, and they are shocked when I tell them their child is wonderful!!! Then, quite often, I have had the parent who says, "I don't know what you're talking about, my child doesn't do anything like this at home." This response follows my question, "What can I do to help your child to perform and succeed, because at this point he/she is showing signs of serious struggle and conflict in my classroom?" "Do you see what I see?" Of course not! According to the parent, this child goes home, does chores, does homework and then loses it before returning to school, speaks respectfully to parents, and shows responsibility and love in the household. They are just not doing as they're told at school, and they don't know why or what to do about it. Thus, they tell the child to stop being lazy and to apologize to me for not doing the right thing!
What am I to do when the parent does not see what I see and does not think there could be anything wrong? What am I to do when a child says he doesn't care if he never gets any rewards because they don't matter? What am I to do when a child says she doesn't do her work because it's not fair that she has to do it??
What am I to do when a child has full academic potential and ability, but the rage that distracts him from my positive intentions overpowers him and speaks louder than any of my lessons?
My husband says I will figure it out, I always do. My sister says that there should be someone at the school who can help kids who struggle like this. My mother says she feels sorry for me and hopes it gets better. My coworkers all say to focus on the positive, keep reaching out to the parents, and know that one day that child will remember what I tried to do.
I say, "Do you see what I see?"
I believe that some children have become immune to the realities of our school system because they're immersed in a virtual world that allows them to change their virtual reality with the simple click of a thumb on a plastic controller. I believe that if I'm not careful, I might say or do something that triggers the mental device to delete me from their consciousness. I guess I need to put myself on a video game and teach through technology. I need to show them how to conjugate verbs, solve for the variable in algebra, identify the causes/effects of war, and value the empowerment that human suffering had on the building of our country! Should I do this through degrading music, violence, and superhuman powers that defy all mankind?
DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?
As the first and second days of school concluded, I had that conversation in my head that I have every single year: "Do you see what I see?" As a parent of a son and a daughter, I have kept my eyes open to signs of struggle, signs of success, and any signs that may have indicated that either of them needed more than just a nudge to get through school. They have both completed high school and are continuing their educations in college. Struggling from time to time, but nonetheless, they have pushed through obstacles and asked for support when needed. As a teacher for 25 years in elementary education, I keep my eyes open the same way for my students, but I have to ask every year, "Do you see what I see?"
Parents are special, as are their children. Many times, I have had parents who tell me that their child is not the same at school as they are at home, and they are shocked when I tell them their child is wonderful!!! Then, quite often, I have had the parent who says, "I don't know what you're talking about, my child doesn't do anything like this at home." This response follows my question, "What can I do to help your child to perform and succeed, because at this point he/she is showing signs of serious struggle and conflict in my classroom?" "Do you see what I see?" Of course not! According to the parent, this child goes home, does chores, does homework and then loses it before returning to school, speaks respectfully to parents, and shows responsibility and love in the household. They are just not doing as they're told at school, and they don't know why or what to do about it. Thus, they tell the child to stop being lazy and to apologize to me for not doing the right thing!
What am I to do when the parent does not see what I see and does not think there could be anything wrong? What am I to do when a child says he doesn't care if he never gets any rewards because they don't matter? What am I to do when a child says she doesn't do her work because it's not fair that she has to do it??
What am I to do when a child has full academic potential and ability, but the rage that distracts him from my positive intentions overpowers him and speaks louder than any of my lessons?
My husband says I will figure it out, I always do. My sister says that there should be someone at the school who can help kids who struggle like this. My mother says she feels sorry for me and hopes it gets better. My coworkers all say to focus on the positive, keep reaching out to the parents, and know that one day that child will remember what I tried to do.
I say, "Do you see what I see?"
I believe that some children have become immune to the realities of our school system because they're immersed in a virtual world that allows them to change their virtual reality with the simple click of a thumb on a plastic controller. I believe that if I'm not careful, I might say or do something that triggers the mental device to delete me from their consciousness. I guess I need to put myself on a video game and teach through technology. I need to show them how to conjugate verbs, solve for the variable in algebra, identify the causes/effects of war, and value the empowerment that human suffering had on the building of our country! Should I do this through degrading music, violence, and superhuman powers that defy all mankind?
DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?
Monday, August 23, 2010
I Was Chosen
I had to stop in my pity-tracks and think...He's right and I need to realize working within my purpose may not always be so warm and fuzzy!
I left for work today feeling better than I had felt all summer. I no longer felt that sense of frustration that taunted the joy of my morning, but I felt inspired and encouraged to do what I have been "chosen" to do!
Upon arrival in the classroom I am teaching in for the summer program, I discovered that, since my departure on Friday afternoon, someone had come in and thrown papers all over the floor. Since the classrooms remain open from 7 a.m. until 1 p.m., this could have happened with little or no notice. And quite honestly, even if someone had noticed, I'm not convinced anyone would have cared enough to stop them. Oh well, I thought, clean it up, and get the room ready for the children who I have been chosen to serve!
This day was unlike any of the previous 15 days of summer school. Today, most of the students said, "Good morning" and meant it! Today, I said, "Good morning" in return and meant it. Today, the 7 students who were absent saved all of us a few headaches. Today, the 10 students who came to school really wanted to do their work and make me proud. Today, I realized that my husband was right, and I was chosen to teach the 10 children who may or may not be so bright, so prepared, or so accustomed to learning. I was chosen to teach. Period. That does not mean I get to choose who or where I teach! I simply must choose to continue to fulfill my purpose!
Friday, August 13, 2010
Remembering When...
When I close my eyes
I see buttlerflies and sunflowers
Walking on clouds
That dance above sudden rainbows.
When I inhale your love
I feel orange blossoms
Touching the core of my sun
Blowing kisses in autumn's evening wind.
When I sink into dreams
I sail on oceans of melodies
Floating away on fantasies
Bringing petals of perfect pleasure
As I relinquish all control
and become a blend of new bliss
Into the fabric of your being.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Entitled Children of Today
I have had a summer to reflect on the effects my husband's and my parenting have had on my 19 yr. old daughter. She has been home from college since May. We were pleasantly surprised to find out that she had earned a 4.0 for the second semester, distinguishing herself as an Academic Scholar worthy of a special certificate from the university. Recently she was offered a small scholarship from her Armenian professor in recognition of her achievements.
I didn't accidentally or carelessly use the word "surprised" when saying we were pleasantly surprised. She was a good student all of her prior school years. However, upon entering Fresno State as a freshman, moving away from home and into a shoe-box size dorm to share with a girl who snored loudly every night, having had no idea that skating to class in 100 degree heat would be an issue, and that the food in dorms would be disgusting...she managed to study, do homework, pass exams with A's, and successfully manage to lose weight instead of gaining the traditional 15lbs! I failed to mention that the second language course she selected was ARMENIAN! She aced Armenian speaking and the writing...go figure! None of this success was the result of us pushing her or reminding her of the seriousness of her doing well considering the deep financial crunch college was putting us in. We let go and let God.
Now, it is summer, and this scholarly daughter of mine has been home, unemployed, and glued to the television and/or novels since May. She sought employment the way that teens do nowadays...through Craig's List and on other sites that allow them to submit applications online. Hmmm, when employers never meet you how do they determine your value to the company? But this is not to be debated with a 19 yr old. She had ONE successful interview, leaving with a feeling of accomplishment and possibilities, and then never got the job. Hmmm, maybe perseverance and persistence would have helped, but a 19 yr old is "not going to keep calling!" OKAY so no money, no plans, nothing but CHEAP fun this summer, fighting villains through PS-3 and reading courtroom drama novels by Sandra Brown! Will she be able to return to campus in a few weeks with any semblance of scholarly motivations or intentions? This has nothing to do with how we've parented her. We say now she is on her own path and we have laid the foundation appropriately. I HOPE!
We, teachers, often see the results of parents "entitling" their lovely children to more than they need and sometimes more than they deserve. The result is the lack of motivation to work hard for the sake of accomplishment, but rather they work lazily and EXPECT rewards and success! When a student doesn't get constant tangible rewards but is taught the value of education, he/she has a profoundly more positive demeanor in the classroom and much greater respect for teachers and for learning. So what I wonder is...since my daughter did not get any tangible rewards from her hard work, was only offered one scholarship which wouldn't even cover 1/3 of a semester's tuition, and she basically starved at home all summer, will she value her education and realize this was her one and only summer to be "entitled" to be the princess of the house.
In closing, I will reminisce on this summer in a few months and deeply miss the former princess as I return to my reign as QUEEN!
I didn't accidentally or carelessly use the word "surprised" when saying we were pleasantly surprised. She was a good student all of her prior school years. However, upon entering Fresno State as a freshman, moving away from home and into a shoe-box size dorm to share with a girl who snored loudly every night, having had no idea that skating to class in 100 degree heat would be an issue, and that the food in dorms would be disgusting...she managed to study, do homework, pass exams with A's, and successfully manage to lose weight instead of gaining the traditional 15lbs! I failed to mention that the second language course she selected was ARMENIAN! She aced Armenian speaking and the writing...go figure! None of this success was the result of us pushing her or reminding her of the seriousness of her doing well considering the deep financial crunch college was putting us in. We let go and let God.
Now, it is summer, and this scholarly daughter of mine has been home, unemployed, and glued to the television and/or novels since May. She sought employment the way that teens do nowadays...through Craig's List and on other sites that allow them to submit applications online. Hmmm, when employers never meet you how do they determine your value to the company? But this is not to be debated with a 19 yr old. She had ONE successful interview, leaving with a feeling of accomplishment and possibilities, and then never got the job. Hmmm, maybe perseverance and persistence would have helped, but a 19 yr old is "not going to keep calling!" OKAY so no money, no plans, nothing but CHEAP fun this summer, fighting villains through PS-3 and reading courtroom drama novels by Sandra Brown! Will she be able to return to campus in a few weeks with any semblance of scholarly motivations or intentions? This has nothing to do with how we've parented her. We say now she is on her own path and we have laid the foundation appropriately. I HOPE!
We, teachers, often see the results of parents "entitling" their lovely children to more than they need and sometimes more than they deserve. The result is the lack of motivation to work hard for the sake of accomplishment, but rather they work lazily and EXPECT rewards and success! When a student doesn't get constant tangible rewards but is taught the value of education, he/she has a profoundly more positive demeanor in the classroom and much greater respect for teachers and for learning. So what I wonder is...since my daughter did not get any tangible rewards from her hard work, was only offered one scholarship which wouldn't even cover 1/3 of a semester's tuition, and she basically starved at home all summer, will she value her education and realize this was her one and only summer to be "entitled" to be the princess of the house.
In closing, I will reminisce on this summer in a few months and deeply miss the former princess as I return to my reign as QUEEN!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Pleasure Echoes
Resounding from within
Resonating
Impersonating
Reverberating
Reminding
me all day
into the night
at sunrise
Your pleasure echoes.
In the wind's touch
Upon butterflies' wings
Temptations in a sunset song
Rising up
As I lay
Watching midnight endure
Sleepless dreams
Mind's eye staring
Reflecting
Your pleasure echoes.
Stacey Joy, 2008
Sunday, August 1, 2010
The Cancer Battle
 |
| Me, Mom, and Sis |
What do we need to do to win the battle? How many more names will be added to the list before we have truly won the fight? I am thankful that I don't have to fear the worst anymore, but I would much rather go back to that feeling of shock, knowing that cancer just doesn't happen to us, and if it does then there is nothing to worry about.
Dr. Keith Black, one of the top neurosurgeons in the world, operated on my mother over 10 years ago to remove a benign brain tumor. I wonder now, as ovarian cancer is fighting to control her body, why isn't there a Dr. Black kind of cure? He said that he creeps up on the brain like a thief in the night to avoid disrupting normal brain function. Why is there no thief in the night to creep into the body and destroy the cancer cells? Why is cancer such a cancer, so ravenous and unpredictable?
Please continue to pray and fight for our loved ones who are courageous with cancer. The battle is not theirs, it's the Lord's!
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